cursor by thetremblingofmyhand I'm Not Finished
zeldathemes

thesylverlining:

babebraham:

today at the bookstore i asked the lady working if she had any lgbtq books that i could check out and her eyes magnified in what i mistook as horror and i thought i had offended her and then she said “i have a bag of lesbian fiction in the basement i’ve been waiting for someone to finally ask” and she all but burst down the stairs to get them for me

bless

"I have a bag of lesbian fiction in the basement" is my new go-to pickup line

  #queuetie patooty  

googlethecreator:

differentgod:

googlethecreator:

infamousgod:

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Funny Sex Laws


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Insane Phobias


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10 Habits to Help You Live Longer

those laws in America are too stupid omg

those 10 habits are pretty nice

  #ffr  

disheartens:

don’t you just hate it when you want to get to know someone but you have no idea what to talk about

bw6:

bw6:

I wanna feel the bulge in your pants as we cuddle

image

bogleech:

rakatakat:

rakatakat:

LOOK AT THESE COLOSSAL FUCKIN LEMONS FROM THE TREE MY BROTHER HAS PEED ON EVERY DAY SINCE HE WAS LIKE 5 YEARS OLD

im laughing/crying i dont want any more messages about this listen up you fucks apparently pee makes citrus plants grow well he learned this from a movie called the world’s fastest indian it is a very good movie starring sir anthony hopkins a highly inspirational film you will be compelled to purchase a lemon tree sapling and see a man about a dog on it every day for the rest of your life and you will be blessed with lemons the size of footballs. yes we ate the pee lemons.

This just in lemons enjoy being pissed on and it makes them grow bigger

bogleech:

rakatakat:

rakatakat:

LOOK AT THESE COLOSSAL FUCKIN LEMONS FROM THE TREE MY BROTHER HAS PEED ON EVERY DAY SINCE HE WAS LIKE 5 YEARS OLD

im laughing/crying i dont want any more messages about this listen up you fucks apparently pee makes citrus plants grow well he learned this from a movie called the world’s fastest indian it is a very good movie starring sir anthony hopkins a highly inspirational film you will be compelled to purchase a lemon tree sapling and see a man about a dog on it every day for the rest of your life and you will be blessed with lemons the size of footballs. yes we ate the pee lemons.

This just in lemons enjoy being pissed on and it makes them grow bigger

notwifi:

"why do you only show half your face in snapchats?!"

image

shyfrench:

dactro:

conigliomannaro:

dyamirityofthelord:

lucisensitivesatan:

trategos:

boyfriend or girlfriend requirements:

  • you have to kill the spider

but spiders are cute and innocent! it should be:

  • you have to catch the spider and release it in the garden

okay

boyfriend or girlfriend requirements:

  • just get that spider away from me i don’t care if you send it to italy just get it away

DO NOT SEND THE SPIDER TO ITALY

you’re right

we will send it to france

image

NO WHY FRANCE

dear peter

ianmckellens:

since you’re open to changing titles, here’s some suggestions:

  • the hobbit: could’ve done it in two movies
  • the hobbit: i only exist because peter wanted more money
  • the hobbit: 75% of this didn’t happen in the book
  • the hobbit: more durin angst and unnecessary romance
  • the hobbit: kili better fucking die alongside fili
  • the hobbit: i swear if kili and fili don’t die together i’m rioting
  • the hobbit: get the fuck away from me peter

finchfaced:

acciobeautifulhorcruxes:

after the Battle of Hogwarts, everyone finally understood what was pulling those school carriages at the beginning of each year.

you know what FUCK YOU THAT’S WHAT

buckybarrnes:

never trust someone who says they don’t like captain america

caseyanthonyofficial:

Having to explain a joke is like going to prom with your sister

beben-eleben:

Pets who love or hate their bath time

alittleworldofimagination:

jokerkat:

quincy360:

you know that unexplainable sickish feeling where youre not really sick and you dont really have a headache but you just feel wrong and you cant get comfortable or find something that youre really into but you kinda feel too ill to sleep or eat its like your body saying “i dont know what i want you to do but this isnt it”

That’s called anxiety.

That explains at least half of my life then

burdenedwithgloriousassbutt:

words of wisdom from Cas

I adore Castiel.